Just one non-sense post
Written @ Wednesday, February 10, 2010 |
Somehow, there's a lot of things happened around me. Actually not much things happen but just, that is what i have felt.
I had a very bad temper since i was small. I even had a very strong jealousy toward those people that who can get the things that they wish for whenever they want.
I kept on controlling those feelings a lot of times but still in the end it's end up to be more worst... I always ask that, why they can have this and that whenever they want while i can't? But when i look back, actually it's been a while, whenever the things that i want i will get it but it's after quite a long time. Such as Ipod Nano, mp3, digital camera, watches, hp and etc, those very expensive thingy. But still, from time to time, the desire in my heart getting stronger and stronger when i saw one has this and that. Nice clothings, nice hair, nice face, nice shoes, pretty things around, goes shopping whenever they want, get the things during shopping also the things they like. so nice :(
I always need to say "wow so nice" in a very uneasy heart, not always but still sometimes. My jealous non-stop envying. I tried not to keep on have that feelings but it keeps on popping, wanted to come out from my heart. It's very exhausted when every time i tried to control it.
In my whole life, the person i most envy, most jealous toward is my sister. She get whenever she wants. She has the "power" to get it, she has the money to get it, she has a nice taste to get it, she has her brain to get it, she has her beautiful heart to get it, she has a very pretty and adorable smile to get it, she has the determination heart to get it, she has.. she has..... ...
As you can see, she can get a lot of things she wanted. Looks like she is very lucky. But actually not, just like chinese phrase "天下没有白吃的午餐", actually since she was small, she put a lot of effort in everything she does. Whenever there is anything reached on her hand, she will try her 101% effort to done the thing. She has laziness, but not as serious as mind. She has an intelligent brain. She has bad temper as well, just, mine is 100% more worst than her. She is able to control all her negative side to be burst out, but me, i can't control. Actually is good for others to tell me tried to change my behavior but do they know that, actually, is a really very suffer thing to change one thing in me. That is not an easy thing to do. My determination heart is not as strong as anyone else. Who don't want to change to be a better one (unless you are a person who hope every luck keep goes on on you no matter what is your type). Change to be a better one the day also will become brighter.
Beside that, whenever who is with my sister, i will very envy because they can get what they want too. Is like her luck will spread to the person besides her. Is nice right? that's what my sis in my heart. although sometimes i get jealous toward her, envy toward her, feel unfair, but still, she is my sis. She deserved all these. No one knows her past better than my dad.
Just... i know it's a deserve for her, but i will still feel uneasy about it. That's why sometimes when she is around, i feel like... im a very big loser. Feel embarassing when besides. This feeling appear also when i was in 12th CNYE, because i was unable to help those OC. That kind of feelings always make me feel i want to make myself dissolve... not only those, even grouping in assignment, project also... that's the reason why i always stay in individual path when doing assignment, rather i die than pull another down the well...
But still, i need to control, very hard... I always told people that, don't let the jealousy come forward you, or else, jealousy will lead you to more suffer point. Because you will always compare yourself with other people (that's my thinking, doesn't mean that other people thinking also same with me)... Since i expose something that keep on bothering me since last two semester to my dad, i started to have negative and positive thinking on one. Rather than only have negative point of view toward one. But that's make me more messy about human being. Human are hard to be predicted...
God always stay beside my sister, then, will He stay beside me too? stay beside such a loser? ...
* God Bless Everyone ... *
p/s: it might be a weird post but then, i wrote whenever what is in my mind, so might be not that tidy at all... Sorry...
Archive!
Written @ Sunday, January 31, 2010 |
Yeah Blog Updated once! Just done the archive thingy! still copy and paste the code from the original template :p but still i missed the old type... like this
* * * * * * * * * *
> 2010
>january
- something
-something
>2009
>december
-something
-something
* * * * * * * * * *
nah... i think might be the blogspot change the template style already...
* sigh *
Anyway, glad that can view previous post dy
* Happy *
Just one night
Written @ Friday, January 29, 2010 |
T_T so sad that after yesterday late sleep, just one night, my face pop a lot of small pimples *sa.....* so surprise! it's just one night! No............... Nevermind nevermind, all the best to cure it!
Comment!
Written @ Friday, January 29, 2010 |
Yeah! Just done with the comment thingy! i keep on copy paste the code keep on finding the code with the "comment" words. T_T now i feel a little bit dizzy, eyes pain, blur, and it's 4am in the morning! and i didnt realize it...
* going to be in trouble dy *
But Yet! i satified with the result :)
* Tired tired tired... *
* Sweaty sweaty sweaty *
* haven't done with the archive thingy, it's necessary? may be :) *
DIY
Written @ Friday, January 29, 2010 |
Just back from celebrating
kam hong and
eros belated birthday :) I gave both of them some
DIY birthday cards. Hopefully they will like it because T_T it's seem doesn't work very good because not much idea for doing it some more both are my 1st time for doing these kind of cards partend :) Here is the card that made by me, hopefully it won't turn out to be... @.@
* just get information from
eros...
THE RIBBON TOO SHORT FOR HIM TO TIE BACK THE RIBBON T_T SO SAD...... i should make it longer if going to do that kind next time... T_T sorry for it.. my bad T_T *
and also the card looks like
new year card instead of
birthday cards, it's because since
chinese new year is around the corner, so i mixed both of the thing,
birthday + CNY + year of tiger :)
* * * * * * * * * *
* (1st one i done) part 1 front page *
* part 2 inner part *
* saw this type in online then try to do (2nd one i done) *
* Year of Tiger *
* * * * * * * * * *
Actually i wanted to do DIY stuff as present in long time ago, but just that i'm very lazy and have a lot of excuses for not doing it. Just like since foundation i keep on nagging that i wanted to do this and that for my gangs, but in the end end up for few years not doing it. In the end i managed to done christmas card for them :) and i happy about it although i'm not really satified for the result but still, i managed to keep my promises (sorry for the card too small). And actually it is a bookmark i wanted to do, but end up to be looked like cards. It's actually quite a number of the cards, but i don't mind for doing it for them because i really owe them a lot since foundation *love you guys :)* so a small gift, no biggie :)
Then my next DIY card is mindy's birthday card, *sorry for too small* that is also a first time pattern that i had done. :) i stole the idea from a gift shop that i entered in One Utama *evil laugh* T_T but end up not very nice *sorry about it* will changed after that :)
Then now, thanks to my
cousin sis, i started to
DIY something as birthday present :) i heard that my
cousin sis always
DIY birthday present for her friends. I don't really dare to
DIY something because i always do something very simple, such as card, box only, others, i don't have any idea about it. So i feel very bad about it, that's why i prefer to buy present instead of doing. But now, i'm trying to
DIY most of the presents meanwhile i can improve my handmade strength :)
* * * * * * * * * *
* my manicure *
* Mindy's manicure *
Day before yesterday, i had done my
manicure with
Mindy *muahahaha* It's organized by CF i think. It is for charity purpose, so each of us give out RM10 for the manicure :). It's turn out to be not too bad and realize, the nail polish color is one of the kind that i wanted to search XD.
Mindy done her
cyan color +
blue manicure. It's matched her bags and of course, herself :) she is very fair so the
cyan color +
blue suit her very much *love it :)* - don't have her pic, so will get from her later
Because they just do for the charity, so they doesn't do it in a proper way, they just polish for you just like that, so it isn't so "clean" but it still fine :)
On the other hand, i had learned something from the
nail polish pattern too :) trying hard to learn new stuff, and T_T hopefully i will trying hard to
learn in programming, so that my
FYP partner and my
project partners won't so disappointed toward me
*sa......* GOD bless you guys
*sa....*
* * * * * * * * * *
p/s: *sa....* = *sob sob...* = * T_T * learned it from shin chan comics ;p
p/p/s: it can't see the picture clearly can click to make it bigger to look it it :)
p/p/p/s: the card suppose to be cool because it's for guys but end up to be =.= more to give to a girl, but anyway, still wish they will like it :)
p/p/p/p/s: recently has been a lot of bloody comment toward my current images, especially hair, so what? as long as it won't turn to be messy can already, ugly or not :) once in a blue moon, no biggie about how it turns to be :)
New Hobby!
Written @ Monday, January 25, 2010 |
Yesterday i went to sam's house to play
mahjong. This is my 2nd time played. The first time i played is ages ago with
xiao pei them. but then at that time i'm not really into it because still haven't fully know how to play, because i only played one round for that time.
Ever since yesterday, i started to have new hobby already except for
basketball and
bowling. XD that is
mahjong muahaha... Some said that
mahjong not good but for old folk it's quite good for them because i heard that
mahjong can cure parkinson, not that can cure is more to avoid to have parkinson disease (=.=||| i think is this lah)
*evil laugh*
Until now T_T i can't really stop thinking about mahjong because it's really very challenges and scary. =.=||| need to have luck to play. Yesterday have ah min's help, today T_T all by myself playing but still luckily
kat,
jay and
sam taught me, or else i still not sure about some of the stuff.
*happy*
At least now i have new things to play, some more,
yc,
yj,
xiao pei,
kk etc they like to play
mahjong. T_T now i no need to stand beside to see, i can also join in anytime! *peace*
By the way, T_T i still haven't started my revision and fyp T_T going to die soon........... *sa.........*
MUST HARDWORKING! *hek hak!*
p/s: now planning wanted to buy a set of small/big mahjong set dy *evil laugh* T_T may be after i have extra money to spend on it *sa.....*
Random Post
Written @ Saturday, January 23, 2010 |
This is the cat that happened to be seen behind my hometown's house. Whenever it's lunch or dinner time, it will be there, for sure, just for food
*clever*. Because i doesn't know it's name (and tend to forgot about it's gender so i just call it as "
mi" = "
mimi")
Recently my brain and my face turned to be like it's picture facial reaction. It is because of my crazy subjects. T_T feel so sad that 3 of my subjects has 1 assignment and 1 project together, others just has one assignment. Including one FYP. T_T feel so sad that i'm going to face java, openGL, VRML etc... mostly is like class programming. The
main point is........
IT'S MORE PROGRAMMING AND THEORY THINGY THAT I REALLY VERY WEAK ON IT
*Sigh*
Just a
random post...
If only i can done everything early and have a good sleep like this cat that i found in
cyberia's playground... T_T so
enjoying the day.
*nice pose*
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